More Love

I’ve found my self in this world of electric fences, barbed wire, burglar bars, tazers, and pepper spray. I wish it were so easy to just go outside for a walk in the fresh African breeze and rest assured that no one would come and attack me.

I am white.

I am female.

I am American.

I am vulnerable.

There’s something leery about the state of vulnerability that I have found myself in. I am a prime target. That’s hard to come to terms with. I’ve never had to think so much of my safety; I’ve never not had to trust someone because of what they could do to me.

I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of thinking constantly as if I am not an American.

Tired of having to think about every cultural difference that I find myself in. I’m emotionally exhausted from the news, the stories from others, the ladies down the street that were brutally beaten and raped to death, the older gentlemen who is the owner of a B&B just down the street who was robbed and beat. I’m tired of this being my reality, I’m bothered that this has become “normal” for South Africa. Everyone knows someone who has been robbed, car jacked, murdered or raped.

It is hard to process all of this. Part of me wants to become numb to these stories in order to move on, but I don’t want to get used to the injustice that I am facing everyday. I’m trying to get to a point where I can deal with it. I need to find a way to cope with it.

Since when did hate become normal? It makes me think of the song by Black Eyed Peas, Where is the love? But seriously, have we become so far in our sin that we don’t hold life as a precious gift from God?

In the States you can have a bit of confidence that nothing terribly bad will happen to you as long as you aren’t involved in bad things. Yes there is the rare occurrence of innocent lives being taken in the States but not to this extreme. It doesn’t matter who you are, there’s a mentality of “if you have what I want I will kill you to get it”.

You can’t even help an injured person on the side of the road; they may be faking it until some good Samaritan comes along hoping to help and they pull a knife on them just to take their car and money. True story.

If something were to ever happen to me in the States, I know who to call and know they would be there within minutes. I can’t think like that here. First of all, it’s a waste of time if you call the police here, and there is only one advanced paramedic for each province. I live in two worlds…the world (Africa) I live in and the world (America) I came from.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. But I can’t let my fear consume me. God has his reason and purpose for me to be here. I must be obedient to move when he asks me to move and be still when he asks me to be still.

I wish I could look through the eyes of God to see what he sees. I wish I knew what it felt like to see your creation; your children live like they do, choosing death over life. No regard to love, only regard to self. If only we loved like Jesus did, how this world would be so different. There is no time for hate.

“He who does not love abides in death”- 1 John 3:14b

Do you see yourself in her?

Sandy was telling me about an experience she had at the chemist (pharmacist) yesterday. Sandy had gone their to get cold and flu medicine for the children at Hani Park because there’s a bad bug going around. Sandy let the checkout lady know that it was for the children because they give discounts to not-for-profits. The lady was Afrikaans (white) and quite chunky, all she said was “I admire you for doing that-taking medicine to those people, because I hate them- they are nothing more than animals”.

Do you see yourself in her? Have you ever thought you were superior to someone because of your class, race, or where you grew up. What makes a pharmacy checkout lady any better then a small child in Hani Park who has the flu? Were we not all created by the same God? What if the Afrikaans lady had been born into a squatter camp? We would all be going through the same plight had we been born in that type of an environment. How shameful! As disgusted as I am with her response, I see a lot of her in a lot of people around me. If only we had more love and less hate we could reach so many more people for Christ.

We have to look at these people as human beings, not animals. You would dig through trash too, to find any kind of food to feed your family if you had no hope, no home, no job, and not government aid.

“We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” 1 John 16-18

If you claim to be a Christian you have made a decision that resurrects you from death to life, and a turning of hate to love.

A lack of love indicates you are spiritually dead. Are you indifferent to the needs of others? Satan’s children are indifferent to the needs of others.

If you want to understand the epitome of love, look what God’s son did for you- he showed love in the most sacrificial way, he died for you. He died for the Afrikaans lady, he died for the smallest child in Hani Park, he died for the Mother Theresa’s of the world, he even died for the Hitler’s of this world. THIS IS LOVE!!!! Unconditional love. We don’t have the slightest clue about unconditional love. We only love if we are loved first, we love those who “deserve” it. What if God operated that way?

I’ve been challenged this week in so many ways. I’ve been humbled in so many ways as well. I’m a ministry major right?! But boy do I have a lot of learning. I hope my experiences can challenge you as they have challenged me. I hope it has given you a glimpse of what life is like thousands of miles away. I hope you are encouraged to know that we serve a God that is bigger then any problem we face!

I love you all!!!

Heather